We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
