it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
