White coat. Heels.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And then my night got REAL pukey
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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