It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
