If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
