what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
