I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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