I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
