I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
