I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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