love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
