And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I understand Curling. That high.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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