You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are two peas in an std pod
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
