That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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