Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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