Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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