Who wears a wallet chain?!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
