yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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