He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
