I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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