Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
