is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
