Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
