yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
