its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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