I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
