The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
