Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
ttyl tear gas
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
