forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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