Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My vagina is very pro this idea
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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