And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
