Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
