Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
