Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
