he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
