dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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