Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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