My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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