I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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