Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
