I wanna passion pit in your ass
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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