Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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