I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
