I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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