He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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