The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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