Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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