that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I understand Curling. That high.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
