Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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