you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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