everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
