You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
