that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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