guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
