worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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