I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
