We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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