don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
