omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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