So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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