i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
